Hurt People Hurt People: Hope and Healing for Yourself and Your Relationships

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Earlier on Thursday, Geraghty said officers were keeping an open mind in terms of the investigation but were “satisfied there is no terrorist link”. Once more, it’s crucial to remain humble, recognizing that the path toward healing, wholeness, and enlightenment is never-ending. There is always more to discover. You can even look to toddler behavior to see that people often act in thoughtless ways when they feel secure. Sadly, traumatized people often reenact the same patterns that were played out by those who hurt them in the first place. In other instances where dealing with such an individual seems impossible due to an unhealthy relationship dynamic or harmful behavior patterns which puts ourselves or others at risk; it might be best to seek professional help for both parties involved.

Hurt people hurt people” is a lovely phrase that some manipulators will gladly stand behind to shield themselves as a poor excuse for their negative choices and actions. And make no mistake, plenty of those wrong actions are active choices to get one over on the other person they are dealing with. They know what they’re doing is wrong; that’s why they hide behind an excuse instead of brazenly standing forward with their negative actions. Focus On Mind & Body Health Rituals – Make an effort to have healthy habits.Habits might include personal grooming,regular physical exercise ,meditation or skincare routines. Focus on things that make you feel good about yourself.And if you are a person who wants to stop causing harm to others, really try to get at the reason why that is. It will likely require a therapist to get to the bottom of the problem and start working on a solution. Life doesn’t have to be that way. Most problems can at least be managed if not resolved in a meaningful way. Empathy is a learned skill, and it is shaped by our own environment and life experiences. So if your partner is willing to change how they relate with others, this problem can be resolved with proper communication. 2. You try to gain control as protection Do you often ask, “Why do people hurt others?” It is probably because you do not reinforce your boundaries. You might be attracting people who feel that you are not assertive and take advantage of your low self-esteem. 7. You fear intimacy In a similar vein, the Tibetain Buddhist teacher Mingyur Rinpoche has said, “If we could see the whole truth of any situation, our only response would be one of compassion.”

The process of forgiveness they describe here is not even really about the person doing the harm, but rather the person who has been harmed. I forgive out of compassion for myself. I let go of the hurt and the anger, and walk into a space of healing and transformation. What happy, healthy person goes around causing harm to other people? That’s right, they don’t. They’re too busy enjoying their life to bother with that absolutely meaningless conflict. They’re not drowning in their trauma or need for conflict. There is an old truism that says “hurt people hurt people.” And right now we are living in a world that constantly lifts up, represents, records, shares, and in so many other ways documents people who are hurting. At one and the same time this world also lifts up, represents, records, shares, and in so many other ways documents how we seek to punish those who do the hurting. Hurt people hurt people. It’s practically impossible to go through life without hurting the people we love. We may do this for their own good, for example, when we need to be firm with a child to teach them socially accepted behavior. We may also hurt another person when we need to do what is right for us, for example, when leaving a romantic relationship. Often, we do it because we are just scared of losing them.

So when someone hurts us, how do we heal?

You do not, and should not, be a doormat and accept bad behavior just because another person has had a hard time. “Hurt people hurt people” can stifle personal growth. Riot police stands guard near the scene of the suspected stabbing, 23 November 2023. Photograph: Clodagh Kilcoyne/Reuters Perhaps people hurt you when they were in control in the past. So, you decide never to relinquish control in any future relationship. It is a defense tactic you have adopted after several painful experiences. A police cordon was set up around the Irish parliament building, Leinster House, and officers from the Garda Mounted Support Unit were in nearby Grafton Street.

Hurting people tend to hurt others, whether consciously or unconsciously. This is because they are hurt and are in need of healing – the kind that only Christ can bring. I have seen, and have experienced myself, four forms of “justifiable” protection that eventually harm everyone we would love or who would love us. Awareness of our defensiveness and admission of our defensiveness can be the first movements of returning to full life again. 1. We defend ourselves from pain through resignation. And in the early 20th century, unheeded by most of his profession, Scottish psychiatrist Ian Suttie concluded that, “The physician’s love heals the patient.” People who hurt others sometimes do it because they have gotten comfortable enough to be their true selves. This is the trust and safety paradox; trusting people more means being your true self around them. Sometimes, your true self is not the nicest version of you. The time for change is now, and as a matter of fact, such change is already rapidly unfolding before our very eyes.

God so loved the world that God poured Godself into it, into the finitude and sorrow and pain and even horror of a broken creation. God made a promise that love wins, and in doing so invites each of us to live into that promise. The first step is forgiveness, and that step takes us on the long road of accountability into reconciliation. Resources I mention: Similarly, trauma responses can cause a person to react with anger and fear on an instinctual level when they feel like they are threatened or in danger. But, again, that requires compassion with firm boundaries as well. It’s not okay to accept abuse or bad behavior because someone else suffered. Suffering is infinite, and you are only one person.

You might not be enduring pain of any kind right now (thank Him!!) but you know people who are, and you know pastors, counselors, coaches, teachers and ministry leaders who need biblically based resources to minister to those who are hurting.Whenever I ponder forgiveness and reconciliation, two things come up for me: first, God’s promise of forgiveness, and then second, the real trouble I have believing in it. How is it that God can promise to forgive anyone and anything if we but ask? And what does that have to do with reconciliation?